Quantum Gardening

The pig breeding season is once more at an end and Eadwig Addlethorpe

has

turned to his other passion at this time of year: growing tulips.

Eadwig's

garden is not like any you will have seen before, for he is

relentlessly

pursued around the trellises he erects by last year's crop of borlotti

beans, and there are deadly giant bees roaming the area too.

Thankfully

Eadwig has devised an innovative method of dealing with these problems:

quantum gardening.

For any event at which there could be more than one possible outcome

the

universe splits into two or more alternate realities. In one universe

team

A might win the Interstellar croquet tournament, in the other it will

be won

by team B. Sometimes we even make a choice as to which of these

alternate

realities we should enter - should we take that new job as a yodelling

dumpling arranger or stay in our present situation as a blancmange

flinging

trebuchet operator? Other events such as the weather seem random and

out of

our control. Eadwig, however, has dicovered that he has the ultimate

power

to decide which future alternate reality he enters - decisions which

would

not, on the face of it, be his to make. He may have a choice between a

future where snails attack his plant, or one where it rains all day and

the

snails decide to go snorkelling instead. In order to ensure the best

results Eadwig simply chooses to enter the version of the future where

his

plants thrive. It's free, completely organic, and no pygmies are

harmed in

the process.